Following four months of rigorous ballerina training, actress Nicola Peltz has reportedly GAINED A SINGLE POUND, sending shockwaves through the Daily Mail's readership. "It's frankly irresponsible," one anonymous commenter wrote on MailOnline, "she's practically promoting… well-being!"

Officials close to the Peltz camp have confirmed the actress, who allegedly dropped to under 100 pounds (45kg) during filming for her role in the upcoming film 'Prima,' has since experienced a slight increase in body mass. The 'gain' – a solitary pound (approximately 0.45kg) – has been attributed to a balanced diet and rest, factors that are, according to 'experts' consulted by The Rogue Editor, conducive to human survival.

The Daily Mail has previously dedicated reams of coverage to Peltz's weight, scrutinising every perceived fluctuation with the intensity of a hawk eyeing its prey. The paper's obsession with Peltz's physique has been interpreted by some as a subtle attempt to… well, we're not entirely sure what they're trying to do, but it definitely involves perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards.

'Prima', in which Peltz plays a ballerina, will undoubtedly explore themes of dedication, artistry, and possibly even… the human condition. But judging by the Daily Mail's coverage, the film's primary focus is whether or not Peltz's weight remains within acceptable parameters of 'acceptable' for a young woman in the public eye.

WHAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW: Some nutritionists advise weight gain *after* periods of intense physical activity, as it helps rebuild muscle and restore energy levels. Madness!

Closing Kicker: When asked for comment, Peltz reportedly shrugged and said, "I had a sandwich. It was delicious."