Sources confirmed earlier today that a 43-year-old woman, initially apprehended following a near-fatal incident involving an 18-day-old baby, has been released without charge and awarded the Freedom of the City. Officials admitted they were 'completely wrong' and 'jumped to conclusions' – a rare occurrence, according to insiders.

The incident unfolded when the infant, precariously positioned near an open window, began to slip. Witnesses claim the woman, identified only as Brenda from number 27, reacted with lightning speed, deploying a discarded sofa cushion and catching the baby mid-air. Medics confirmed the baby sustained no injuries whatsoever, attributing it to Brenda's 'impeccable timing and frankly, baffling athleticism'.

Brenda, a self-described 'bingo enthusiast and amateur birdwatcher', has since become an overnight sensation. Offers for interviews and endorsements are flooding in. A local bakery has even created a 'Brenda Bun' in her honour, filled with custard and 'unexpected heroism'.

What They Don't Want You To Know: Experts quietly acknowledge that existing safety regulations regarding open windows are inadequate, and that accidental falls are relatively rare, despite media hysteria. Brenda's quick thinking merely highlighted a pre-existing vulnerability.

Closing kicker: When asked for comment, Brenda simply shrugged and said, 'Well, someone had to do it. Besides, I'd just finished my cuppa.'