Sources close to the Queen Consort have reportedly revealed a surprising admiration for the Duchess of Sussex, claiming Camilla privately expressed gratitude for Meghan's positive impact on Prince Harry. “She told a confidante that Meghan's 'California wellness' approach has done wonders for Harry's mental wellbeing,” a palace insider admitted, speaking on condition of anonymity because they are contractually obliged to never have any fun. “Apparently, Harry’s finally learned to meditate and now only screams at the corgis three times a week instead of five.”

This unexpected endorsement contradicts years of tabloid speculation suggesting a deep-seated animosity between the two women. One royal biographer even suggested that Camilla has been secretly practicing yoga with Meghan via Zoom, and that she's been loving it. The unlikely friendship blossomed after Harry and Meghan gifted Camilla a subscription to a mindfulness app and a guide to growing organic kale in her Balmoral garden. “She’s apparently obsessed with the kale,” the source chuckled. “Keeps sending Harry pictures of her harvest.”

Further compounding the shock, another royal staffer revealed that Prince William has also warmed to Meghan's influence, taking to colonic irrigation and chakra balancing. He said he's 'never felt more aligned'. “He’s even stopped calling Harry ‘Harold’ and started using his full name,” the staffer whispered. “Progress, right?” He added that Prince Charles has now legally changed his first name to 'Charlie'.

**What They Don't Want You To Know:** The real story here is that the Royal Family, under pressure to modernize, is actually trying to cultivate a more progressive image and have realised that being horrible to people isn't conducive to national unity. They're just really bad at it and the media is actively hostile to the idea of them ever being human.

In related news, The Daily Mail has just announced its 78th story about Meghan's allegedly strained relationship with a potted plant, quoting an anonymous source who claims the plant is “visibly wilting under the pressure of her intense scrutiny.”