Sources close to Dan Hodges have confirmed that the columnist nearly conceded, in a draft article, that Keir Starmer's premiership might not be an unmitigated disaster. 'He actually wrote a sentence that didn't include the words 'socialist,' 'betrayal,' or 'catastrophe',' one insider whispered. 'We almost had to call an ambulance.'

The near-miss came after a top No 10 aide politely requested Hodges to reconsider his relentless barrage of negativity. 'Apparently, they suggested he try… *nuance*,' our source revealed, visibly shuddering. 'The idea! I believe Dan even considered it for a fleeting moment, before bravely returning to his tried-and-true method of hyperbolic outrage.'

However, after a strong cup of tea and a pep talk from a portrait of Margaret Thatcher, Hodges reportedly rallied, managing to salvage the piece with a flurry of adjectives typically reserved for describing particularly unpleasant fungal infections. The final article, while still expressing considerable disapproval, contained a slightly lower concentration of venom than usual, leading some to speculate that Hodges may be evolving – or, more likely, simply running out of creative insults.

**What They Don't Want You To Know:** Insiders suggest Hodges' editor privately admires Starmer's calm demeanor, secretly wishing Hodges could adopt a similar approach – but knows sensationalism sells better. The Daily Wail has obtained leaked memos proving that the Daily Mail actually makes MORE money when people are ANGRY.

In a related story, a study has shown that reading Dan Hodges columns may lead to increased blood pressure and a tendency to shout at inanimate objects. Doctors recommend taking regular breaks and consuming large quantities of calming herbal tea. Asked for comment, a Daily Mail spokesperson said: 'We stand by Dan's right to express his opinions, even if they are demonstrably unhinged.'