Officials admitted yesterday that a Labour think-tank has put forward a comprehensive plan to tackle rising energy bills, involving a 'temporary' 2p income tax rise. The proposal, meticulously costed and independently verified, has sent shockwaves through Westminster – primarily because it appears to be… well, quite sensible.

Red Ed Miliband, in a rare moment of unwavering optimism, declared that nuclear energy will “definitely, probably, maybe” save us money in about 20 years. Experts, normally quick to condemn any political statement, have tentatively nodded in agreement, whispering phrases like “potentially viable” and “not entirely insane”.

The Daily Wail can exclusively reveal that this proposed tax increase, while technically a tax, is designed specifically to alleviate the energy crisis *without* lining the pockets of multinational corporations. Sources confirmed that the funds will be ring-fenced and directly allocated to subsidising energy bills for low-income households and investing in renewable energy infrastructure. This radical approach, which prioritises citizens over shareholders, has left many Tory MPs scratching their heads in utter confusion.

The plan also includes measures to crack down on energy company profiteering and promote energy efficiency, further reducing the burden on consumers. A leaked memo from Conservative HQ reveals a frantic search for any potential flaw in the plan, with one aide reportedly screaming, "There *has* to be something wrong with it! It's Labour!"

**What They Don't Want You To Know:** Studies have shown that targeted tax increases, when properly implemented, can effectively address specific economic challenges. Also, nuclear power *could* be a viable option in the future, but only if we solve the waste disposal problem and stop building them in earthquake zones.

Closing Kicker: When asked for comment, a Daily Mail reader, upon hearing the plan, reportedly said: "Wait, so... this *isn't* going to destroy Britain? Are you sure?"