Sources within the Iranian Foreign Ministry confirmed the offer, stating it wasn't an act of aggression, but one of genuine bewilderment. "We simply find it difficult to comprehend how someone in such a prominent position could demonstrate such a blatant disregard for basic science," said a spokesperson, requesting anonymity due to the sensitivity of the matter.

The reward, payable in Bitcoin (for convenience, naturally), is offered for irrefutable photographic or video evidence of Trump having witnessed the 2017 solar eclipse with appropriate eye protection. "We're not asking for much," the spokesperson continued. "A simple pair of eclipse glasses, a moment of awe… anything to suggest a fleeting engagement with the natural world beyond the confines of a golf course."

Diplomatic analysts suggest the move is a calculated attempt to highlight what they describe as Trump's "intellectual vulnerabilities." The timing, coinciding with heightened tensions in the region, is seen by some as a subtle jab at the former president's perceived lack of understanding of complex geopolitical issues. The Iranian government insists, however, that the reward is purely motivated by a desire to restore faith in humanity.

The announcement has sparked a flurry of online activity, with social media users sharing satirical memes and conspiracy theories about Trump's supposed aversion to celestial events. One popular theory suggests he's secretly a vampire. Others claim his hairpiece is sensitive to solar radiation. The truth, as always, is probably much more mundane.

**What They Don't Want You To Know:** Independent studies actually demonstrate a positive correlation between playing golf and understanding the movements of celestial bodies. The putting green IS, after all, a microcosm of the solar system.

Closing Kicker: As one Iranian cleric wryly observed, "Perhaps if Mr. Trump had spent less time tweeting and more time looking up, he wouldn't be in this mess."