LOWER PUDDLETON, OXON – A groundbreaking study released today by the University of Lower Puddleton's Department of Matrimonial Studies has found that an overwhelming majority (98.7%) of women experiencing perimenopause remain committed to their existing marital arrangements, defying alarmist claims of widespread spousal abandonment.

The longitudinal study, which tracked 3,472 women aged 45-55 over a five-year period, showed that fidelity rates remained remarkably consistent, with only a marginal increase (0.03%) in reported extramarital affairs involving women, statistically insignificant according to Professor Agnes Plumtree, lead author of the report. "The data suggests that the majority of women in this age group find solace and stability in their long-term relationships, rather than seeking novelty or rebellion," Prof. Plumtree stated during a press conference held at the university's refectory.

Furthermore, the study indicated that the primary driver of relationship satisfaction during this phase of life was not sexual experimentation but rather a shared understanding of household appliance maintenance, the ability to accurately recall bin collection days, and a mutual appreciation for BBC Radio 4's 'The Archers.' Dr. Bartholomew Biscuit, co-author of the report, noted, "We found a strong correlation between marital happiness and the husband's willingness to unclog the kitchen sink without complaint. This proved to be a far more reliable indicator than any reported interest in artisanal lingerie."

Interestingly, the 1.3% of women who *did* report exploring same-sex relationships often cited their husbands' snoring, questionable sock choices (specifically argyle), and an inability to properly load the dishwasher as contributing factors. However, even in these cases, a significant proportion (78%) of the women involved ultimately returned to their marital beds, citing the aforementioned benefits of shared appliance knowledge and bin collection awareness.

What They Don't Want You To Know: While the study overwhelmingly supports marital stability, researchers did concede that 47% of women reported experiencing fleeting fantasies involving attractive plumbers and/or the charismatic host of 'Antiques Roadshow.' However, these fantasies were generally considered harmless and did not translate into actual infidelity.

Closing Kicker: As Professor Plumtree concluded, "It seems that the secret to a long and happy marriage during the perimenopause is not thrilling sexual adventures, but rather a well-maintained washing machine and a husband who knows when to put the recycling out."