Sources inside the White House have confirmed that President Trump, after initially requesting British naval support in the Strait of Hormuz, has made frantic backchannel appeals to Downing Street to keep HMS Dragon firmly docked.

'He's absolutely terrified,' one insider revealed. 'The HMS Dragon actually arriving and, you know, doing its job effectively? It would completely undermine his carefully crafted image of being the only one who can fix things. Can you imagine the headlines? 'Britain Solves Crisis Trump Created!' He'd rather have a full-blown international incident than admit he needs help, especially from a country he keeps insulting.'

Another source added: 'He keeps muttering about 'optics' and how a successful British operation would make him look 'weak.' He's even suggested that maybe the Royal Navy could just, like, sail around a bit looking important, but not actually *do* anything.'

Officials admitted the timing is terrible. After all, the UK only just managed to deploy HMS Dragon following lengthy delays and budget cuts. For Trump to now actively discourage their involvement is, as one diplomat put it, 'the height of transatlantic absurdity.'

**What They Don't Want You To Know:** Trump's initial request for help was reportedly met with polite skepticism from British officials who are still trying to understand why the US pulled out of the Iran nuclear deal in the first place.

In a leaked phone call, Trump was heard saying, 'Look, I love the Dragon, beautiful ship, the best ship, but maybe it could just, you know, stay in port and tweet about how it's ready to help? That's all I need. Tweets are VERY powerful!'