Sources close to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have confirmed that, contrary to Bower's sensational claims, the couple were, in fact, observed sharing several instances of genuine affection and even, dare we say, laughter shortly after their honeymoon. Officials admitted the news has sent shockwaves through the royal rumour mill.

Witnesses report sightings of Harry and Meghan engaging in activities previously deemed impossible by royal commentators, including holding hands in public without apparent discomfort, sharing a pizza (gasp!), and even completing a couples' pottery class without a single thrown vase. One insider described the scene as 'horrifyingly normal'.

Bower's book, initially touted as an expose of simmering tensions, now appears to be a meticulously researched account of two people getting along reasonably well. Early reviews have slammed the book as 'utterly devoid of scandal' and 'dangerously close to portraying the royals as relatable human beings'. The publisher is reportedly offering readers a free stress ball with every purchase, to cope with the sheer boredom.

What They Don't Want You To Know: Royal relationships, like any other, have their ups and downs. Focusing solely on the negative aspects creates a skewed and often inaccurate picture.

The Daily Wail contacted Tom Bower for comment, who responded: "Well, someone has to sell newspapers. And 'Harry and Meghan have a perfectly pleasant afternoon' just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?"